Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
