i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
