the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
