i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
