All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
