If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
