the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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