Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
