in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
