is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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