I'm jealous of your bromance
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
