I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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