check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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