Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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