that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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