Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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