My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
