I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
