Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
