Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
