marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
