you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
