wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
