Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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