sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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