just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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