I'm jealous of your bromance
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
