Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
