Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
