well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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