It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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