After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
