I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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