you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
