what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
