Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
