Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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