I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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