Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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