thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
