So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
