My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
