I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
