Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
