just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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