the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
