Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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