$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
