I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
