I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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